"Prepare for the WORST, but..." Wait, how does the rest of that go?

"Prepare for the worst, but HOPE for the best!" Why is it we tend to forget the last part of that maxim? Is it because we have heard it so few times? Perhaps it's too long? Maybe the concept itself is too complex. It may be the first part, the doom and gloom part, takes all our concentration.  After all, can we really expect our minds to think in two completely different terms? Yet if we are looking under rocks to uncover potential booby traps, we never take the time to enjoy the proverbial flowers.  

First, understand that anxiety is actually there for good reason. It's a survival mechanism. We are constantly looking for an alternate ending, a way out, or at least a really good lie. We want to have options when it comes to saving our relationships, not getting mugged, being fired, or just talking our way out of a traffic ticket. Self preservation itself is not bad so long as it is not at the expense of others. However, we get stuck there. We are always watching out for the next big financial pitfall or social jackpot. Our minds take in billions of bits of information every day. The great majority of that data has no bearing on our lives whatsoever. Nonetheless, there is a lot to sift through. Perhaps there really are more things that could go wrong than right.

Without a doubt, negative self-talk will manifest itself into a bad attitude, limiting beliefs and even a poor outlook on ourselves. Some of that talk is our own creation and some of it (some more than others) is something that has played each and every day since we were small children. So, why is this little inner PA system always playing? With exception to deep-seeded emotional issues, there are just two reasons; we are comfortable with what is familiar, and silence scares us. Yep, that's pretty much it. Trusting in the way things have always been done is far better than looking inward at ourselves.  Have you ever known someone in a co-dependent relationship? Rationale would dictate they leave an abusive entanglement, but they remain due to a fear of the unknown or even possibly being alone.    

Perhaps we should BEGIN hoping for the best! Far more important than dwelling on unrealistic negatives is how to move forward searching for positive outcomes. This takes adjusting our own attitudes toward, well, everything. This is nothing that can be done a psychologist, minister, board-certified magician, your boss, your parents, your spouse or the HR lady. Sorry, not even I can help you with this one. It is something the individual must do for themselves.   

However, here are a few things that help you move in the right direction;

Get a better class of friends. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once stated; "We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with." We tell or children to not hang out with the wrong crowd. Yet do we head our own advice?  You are only obligated to see your extended family on Thanksgiving, the other 364 days of the year are YOURS!  Seriously, do we seek those who can help elevate us or simply those who are comfortable and familiar?  Maybe we gravitate toward those who are most like us, as we are now. Perhaps we are the ones who are co-dependent.

Again, with the diet and exercise? Yes and who knows, there might actually be something to it, too! There have been hundreds of studies on the emotional and psychological benefits of Omega-3 fatty acids. That means more fish. Also, we must train ourselves to fill our lungs with more air so we can better get oxygen to our brain. The type of deep breathing we can only get from exercise. Good news here; ANY physical activity will get our heart rate up, so have fun with it. Unless you have a medical condition, there is no wrong exercise.    

"Purple giraffe!" Did you just envision a blue otter in your mind? No, because it was filled with the image of a two-tone lavender equine with a long neck. The human brain can only concentrate on one thing at a time with any great detail. Whatever is there, is there. If we tell ourselves to NOT think of something, it's still there. We can't allow ourselves to become frustrated when we imagine the worst, like getting fired, breaking up, arguing with our children or Bananarama on tour. Acknowledge those negative ideas for what they are; distortions of reality. Then, simply let them creep on through our mind until they find the exit. They will eventually leave, they always do unless we choose to hold onto them.    

Give yourself a time out. Take some quiet time, you deserve it. Go somewhere completely devoid of people, phones, distractions, wi-fi or even background music. Have a conversation with yourself. As stated, we already talk to ourselves, so this should be easy. Have an honest talk with yourself about the type of person you are, what makes you happy, and where you want to be in life.  Believe it or not, this is where I LOSE MOST OF YOU. As simple as it is, it's just too damned awkward.  

Get enough sleep. A Columbia University study showed the rate of those surveyed who had sleep
deprivation and sought out professional help for psychiatric disorders by about 8:1, versus those who were well rested, yet sought help. Eight to one! How many of those eight would never have had an issue had they just got an extra hour or two of sleep each night? Those one-hour sessions lying on the psychologist's couch would have been just as effective had a subject actually fallen asleep on it!   

Live with passion! No doubt, some people aren't seeing the good simply because they just are not happy.  Happiness really is a decision, not a state. Of course, we all have bad days, suffer regret and mourn loss. But that should be the exception to human existence. When I conduct career coaching with clients, I ask them what they are most passionate about. Sadly most simply do not know what would excite them to get out of bed in the morning. They only roll out of bed due to habit or a sense of what the consequences will be. Passion overcomes fear and if we are anticipating all the good that will come from the new day, our attitude will rise to meet the need. 

Sad to say, we will always have those little negative thoughts and anxiety. The trick is to outweigh them with positive expectation and constant reminders of how awesome we truly are. And that, takes purposeful intention.  

Blaine Little
http://speakingforeffect.com/
BlaineSpeak@gmail.com

There is no leadership without a sense of vision.

As a corporate trainer, I often open my seminars stating; "The single most important skill of a good leader is that of communication". A manger or executive with an industrial expertise may point to another attribute such as accounting or engineering. However, when it comes to the task of actually LEADING others on the team, one would be hard pressed to disagree with me. Otherwise, just ask anyone who had a great idea and could not bring it to fruition because others did not share in the vision. 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of professionals who perhaps due to their technical skills, gained a position of influence and yet do not truly appreciate the need for them to be "visionary". He or she has the degree, certifications, experience and skill sets to accomplish the tasks at hand. Yet, business professionals many times fail to understand the moment they take on the responsibility of a staff, team, department or even a single intern, they automatically become a LEADER... like it or not. I say that because there are a lot of business people who detest the responsibility of dealing with others and seeing to it staff members contribute their individual portion to the team. The attractiveness of title, prestige and more money clouds the reality that there will be a huge shift in their personal responsibilities. It is no longer the emphasis on individually doing, but instead relating what needs to be done by the team and WHY. 

Recently, I was presenting to the executive staff of a large energy company. The organization had recently undergone several growth spurts and weren't done. They understood the importance of creating a strategic plan relating the direction they were moving to their more than 1000 employees. Out of this, came the need to develop core values, as well as mission and vision statements. The company was undergoing such change they wanted to ensure all the workers were aware of the new direction they were going. Otherwise, employees would not see the need to be flexible in their understanding of what the individual job was. Where thee is confusion in the ranks, you have a loss in productivity, effectiveness and profitability. There could even be safety concerns for any entity that changes course and does not bring its members along.  

Followers WANT to be led! The good ones show up to work and fully expect to receive that day's marching orders or to be informed if the daily routine has been altered. Without a sense of direction, employees lose confidence in the organization, their leaders, even themselves and their abilities. To fill the void, they will many times create their own set of priorities, process policies and deadlines. However, these will all be different from one worker to the next and more than likely not be up to company standards. In time, the company will be swallowed up by inefficiency, lose their customer base, and eventually fold. The frustration an executive may feel is often one of the signs something is wrong and it may present itself too late.  

As a business leader, it's not enough to be proficient in your position, you must also bring the team along for the ride. That means telling members of the team where the ride is going... and why. In short, creating a vision. Key concepts, such as a vision statement is not the only way to do that, but it's a really good start. It may also require additional training and frequent updates. By opening good lines of communication to allow for questions, ideas and feedback, a leader can be assured that the team understands his or her direction. But if that leader simply assumes everyone knows priorities and what to do without follow through, that professional stands a good chance of not being in the position for long.   

Blaine Little
http://MomentumSeminars.com/
BlaineSpeak@gmail.com
 

Analysis Paralysis!

I have taught Realtors and sales forces for almost a decade now. From brand-new rookies to career agents, I know one thing that will never change... change itself! Change will constantly come at us, and no matter how much we think we know, we don't. There is always the need for additional knowledge and training. Information and experience are vital to the decisions we make on a daily basis. With the knowledge we have, and the benefit of past lessons learned, we can better assess the risk involved with any endeavor that may require an investment of our time, money, or emotions. That being said, we will seldom have an unqualified answer to the question: "Should I stay, or should I go"?

Several years ago, I was training a new twenty-something agent on my sales force when I was with a local RE/Max franchise. One of the first skills I taught this group of "newbies" was how to find prospective clients. This particular agent was attentive, thoughtful, and took copious notes in my Tuesday morning sales meetings. Jeff was what most sales trainers dream of; a clean slate devoid of bad sales habits, someone who was "coachable". Indeed, he asked a lot of questions every Tuesday morning, and most every other day as well. He asked a lot of good questions, but mostly just A LOT of questions. Initially I didn't mind. After all, that was part of my job. Although, after a month or more of this, and no clients to show for it, it finally dawned on me where his head was. His lack of confidence in being able to overcome every possible objection, stopped him in his tracks.

One Tuesday morning, after the rest of the team of new agents cleared out of the training room, I said to him; "Jeff, you do realize you will never have all the answers to every challenge that may arise beforehand, don't you? In other words, you cannot possibly absorb everything from a textbook, or class in an attempt to eliminate a problem before it reveals itself to you". Jeff looked to the side, back at me, then widened his eyes. This was his moment of Zen. Though I do not consider myself his "guru", a light had clicked on for him. A switch that for many of us never gets flipped. It's the realization that in order to pursue success, we must first be willing to fail.

So many people want to keep a perfect track record. As though THAT was more important than actually doing the job itself. I have stated several times; "perfection is overrated". More on that in a later post. But, this concept of never being willing to make a mistake is sadly permeating our society. It's not just with the young people, either. Those changing career fields, also seem to have a certain aversion to failure. Granted, there's nothing wrong with wanting to do a job well. That's admirable, though it shouldn't stifle our ability to perform at all. In the words of Marcus Lemonis, "Have no fear and be willing to fail." Most challenges have more than one solution, but none of them will be completely perfect anyway.

Fortunately, it is NOT the job of a Realtor to know everything. It is the job of the Realtor, or sales professional to understand our client's goals, then find the information that will be pertinent to our clients making an informed decision. Yes, we are compensated for helping others to avoid (or at least properly assess) the risks involved. That's why we exist! We are the professionals. But, we didn't become that by never making mistakes or by just asking a bunch of questions. So stop worrying about not knowing everything, and get to work. Your clients need you!


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www.MomentumSeminars.com 

Still Waiting on Your "Moment of Zen"?

About a week ago, I had the fortune of meeting Rudy Ruettiger. You know, of "Rudy, Rudy, Rudy..." fame. Though given his small stature, he was still able to do what everyone said he could not do on the Notre Dame football field; COMPETE. I remember watching this inspirational movie with a room full of my Fraternity Brothers back in the mid 90's. His life, and the movie are truly motivational. Sean Astin's portrayal of a doggedly determined young man reminded all of us to simply never give up on our dreams. Though none of my Brother's would ever admit to it, I knew for certain several were almost in tears. I however, maintained my composure... well, at least in the A-frame where we were all assembled.

 

When I heard Rudy was coming to town, I knew I needed to see the man and hear him speak live. For years, I had heard he was a powerful keynote speaker, who was very motivational. Not only did I want to pick up some pointers on public speaking, but I confess I also wanted to feel "inspired". Inspired to do what, you ask? Well, I wasn't exactly sure, but if I did a back flip, or just ran around the gym floor like a chicken with my head cut off, THEN I would know I got my 20 bucks worth! So many times, people find themselves waiting for someone to give them a reaction. ANY reaction. All too often, these people go down a negative path thinking this other person will eventually bring them happiness. Okay, fine, we all need those little jolts to our system every now and then, but why wait on someone else to do that for us?  

 

A "moment of Zen", is when a Taoist does something to preoccupy their mind, while waiting for truth to reveal itself. Stuff like contemplating one's naval. All I ever found was lint. Or perhaps to ponder the paradoxical question "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" Here's the answer; it's exactly half as loud as two hands clapping. But do we really need an outside influence, or to put our brains on hold to have an epiphany? Wait, let me think on that for a while.... NO! The answer is "no", we do not need to put our brains on hold!  

 

During Mr. Ruettiger's speech, the one thing he said that really stuck out in my mind the most was; "Dreams come to you when you're inspired". I had to ponder that for awhile. What did he MEAN by that? Was he speaking a higher wisdom, than my little mind could not translate? Was this a carefully crafted syntax that only a few people in the room, who attended a secret meeting before, would be able to understand? Was this a "code" of some sort? No, I believe what he meant was if your life is mundane, or you do not feel inspired to do something great... seek out your inspiration. In the immortal words of another equally motivational movie (City Slickers), "Go find your smile".  

 

You don't need a "guru" to tell you how to be your best. Just LOOK at all the people around you who have already overcome great adversities... or in your own life. Then ask "how can I bottle that"? How can I keep my goal ever present and in the forefront of my mind? For some, those questions may be more basic; "what makes me happy", or "what makes me feel good about myself"?  These are really good questions with which many so-called successful people still struggle.   

 

So, let's review. I attended an event with a motivational speaker, only to have that speaker tell me I didn't need him to be motivated. Essentially, I could be my own source of inspiration to help me realize my dreams. Now, THIS was my moment of Zen! My "ah-hah" moment! The epiphany for which I was looking... and I could have just stayed at home.    

 

So, would I ever pay to go hear Rudy speak again? Well, yeah, probably. But not because I need some new pearl of wisdom that would unlock the secret of life-long bliss, I just need a gentle reminder from time to time to make sure I am on the right track. Also, it was nice to know that Rudy himself was so... nice. After the event, he took time to shake hands with everyone who wanted to see him. As a long line of people told him one after another what his story meant to them, I would occasionally see him come almost to tears. To which neither I nor my Fraternity Brothers would ever allow. But maybe Rudy really is the bigger man after all. "Thank you", Rudy! NOT for inspiring me, as much as reminding me I can motivate myself. 

 

 www.SpeakingForEffect.com

 

Where Are Your New Year's Resolutions?

Well, how have you done so far? July is the half-way mark for the year. Were you half the way to your goals? Do you even remember what they were? Be honest. No, my intention is not to pour salt into an open wound, but merely to pose a very simple question; Where are your New Years resolutions? We put a lot of stock in our dreams, and we give a lot of significance to the plans we make for achieving them, but do those plans actually move us closer to where we want to be in life.

According to a recent article in Forbes Magazine, only 8% of Americans actually achieve their resolutions. Yikes! Statistically, speaking (92% to be exact) I will NOT achieve my year-end goals. Now what? Anything but admit defeat! I know, I can "kick start" my goals anew. Re-energize my vision. Re-discover my purpose. Re-align my chakras. Maybe get in touch with my inner child?

What is a "goal" any way? It's a dream we write down on a piece of paper to make us feel like we have accomplished something, or that we're at least on our way. It's something we can tangibly hold in our hands in lieu of the actual situation. And as soon as that ink on paper becomes a reality, we'll be happy. We post it on our bathroom mirror to remind us of it every morning, or better yet place it in our purse or wallets so we can review it a few times a day.  In short, we get a certain short-term satisfaction for having done something positive that day. We begin to take charge of our lives! Sadly, reviewing our little wish lists, is not taking action.

A world-famous motivational speaker once said "set the type of goals that excite you to get out of the bed in the morning".  Of course, you could scrap those goals all together, and simply BECOME the person you want to be. That's right, simply take on the disciplines and behaviors of the top sales rep in your company, act as if you were already regional manager, or someone who has already lost 50 pounds. We can incorporate the aspects of a positive personality TODAY, and that will get us to where we want to be a whole lot faster than a slip of paper. In order for us to redesign our lives, it's going to take... wait for it... CHANGE. If we're being honest with ourselves, the average human, not coming out of some sort of traumatic experience, simply does not want to change. There's too much work involved, and we have to look at the not so positive habits currently in our lives. I think we avoid change not only out of complacency, but more the fact that change today is to admit we were WRONG yesterday.

Thomas Edison didn't create hundreds of inventions because he ran on a treadmill, made solid hedge fund investments, nor because he got out of bed any earlier. In fact, he was known for taking naps. He made the world a brighter place simply because he was, well, Thomas Edison. He accomplished all he wanted not by wishing on a star, or waiting for his ship to come in, or win it big in the lottery. He just did what the inventor of the light bulb WOULD do to achieve success. He failed hundreds of times just on this one endeavor, but he continued to change, alter, and modify the process. He was flexible, and not afraid to admit he failed along the way. There was a passion inside who he was that he would never find on a sticky note.

Where are your new years resolutions? If they are nowhere in sight, don't worry, you can essentially achieve them today. You just have to become a little better version of yourself and do things outside of your comfort zone, that includes admitting failures along the way.  If you're in the magic 8%, far be it from me to pour cold water on your endeavors. Go get 'em!  But you better hurry, it will soon be October, and I will ask you the same question again.

http://speakingforeffect.com/
BlaineSpeak@gmail.com