An Unholy Trinity

My wife is from the Gulf Shores. She has lived in both Mobile and New Orleans. I was once a skinny man before I married this amazing cook. She was taught by her Granny about the core ingredients that go into a good, homecooked, Cajun meal. Those basic components are; onions, bell peppers and celery. Known as the “holy trinity,” they are absolutely essential to Louisiana cuisine. Of course, garlic, parsley and other seasonings may be added in, but it all starts with this trio. It would be neglectful to not include these elements to a gumbo or other family favorite.

People follow family recipes because they are tried and true. If you’re going for a particular flavor, you have to know what to put in and what to keep out. But what ingredients could be detrimental to a recipe? My wife is a bit of a gumbo snob, so if the wrong thing is added, she will instantly notice it and lay the bowl down. There are several items that could be added to taint the flavor, thereby ruining an otherwise phenomenal meal. The same can be said about business and our personal growth as well.

When it comes to attaining happiness, wealth, independence or any other measure of success, we need all the right ingredients but nothing that would sour the recipe. Yet, that is exactly what happens to many of us in our attempts to achieve noble goals. We know any worthwhile pursuit will take attributes like; courage, integrity, decision-making and a dozen other skills. But three characteristics of our belief system that will hold us back are what I call the “UN-holy trinity”.   

A few things that are often roadblocks to where we want to be in life are; guilt, worry and perfection. Unfortunately, most of us suffer from at least one if not all of them. We will discuss what these three have in common, but for now, let’s take a closer look at each.

Guilt is what we experience when we wish we could go back in time and alter a relationship or an event. Well, there is no time machine but that doesn’t stop us from dwelling on how we could have done something different. Unique from disgust, or even shame, where we know we are in the wrong, guilt robs of our joy and keeps us in a state of psychological misery. If we inadvertently offend someone, the disgust of our actions often turns to shame because we know we are at fault and have legitimate feelings of regret.

But guilt is imposed on us by others, even if subtly. It could be one person’s judgement of us and how we should act or a societal norm that says we do not measure up and are less than good. But who decides what is “good”? What is “less than” a measure of? It’s all an arbitrary value. Yet, guilt is a favorite weapon for those who wish to manipulate us into hurtful feelings either to compel us to take an action other than what we would normally, or simply because the manipulator is a sadistic individual. Whatever the reason, they know they’re powerless to control us and have to resort to this unscrupulous tactic. Don’t fall for it!

Another bitter ingredient in our lives is that of worry. We have all suffered from this at some point. And that’s a real shame because this one we subject on ourselves. This is not concern or preparedness, it’s just a self-imposed hell! Worry is simply putting ourselves into a state of panic. It saps us of energy as we panic over the very worst that could happen. Worry also robs us of our creativity to actually find a solution, because it is very hard be creative when we are stressed out.

This is one that I have struggled with for most my life. For me, I believe there is some cosmic force
counting the amount of time, energy and emotion I spend in this state. It’s as though I believe freaking out will make things better. No, no it won’t. No amount of anxiety has ever paid the dues for a favorable outcome to our problems. We simply dig ourselves into a hole and waste time.  

But I have gotten a lot better over the years. I have been able to let go of the need for fretting over things that may be out of my control anyway. Once you accept that you are going to be out of control most of your life, it’s actually very liberating. Taking an inventory of what we CAN affect and letting go of everything else is a first step to real problem-solving.

The third troublesome component is that of perfection. Even when we achieve success in something, it’s just not enough. We many times feel compelled to go beyond in order to get it “exact”. This belief is the definition of a malcontent. This striving for ultimate preciseness may be self-imposed or from an external stressors such as a boss or family member.  

Yes, done really is better than perfect, because perfect doesn’t exist. Even the universe created by God himself, has no straight lines. Yet no one is complaining when they visit the Smokey Mountains or Yellowstone National Park. We take what is there and create lasting memories for ourselves and our loved ones. If you’re waiting for conditions to be just right to pursue your dreams, you will be waiting quite a  while.  

I hate to bring up the old baseball analogy, but it is a very good example. A .330 batting average is considered really good in the pros. Phenomenal, even! Yet, that means they screw up and MISS the ball 67% of the time. Think about that, where else can someone work and fail two-thirds of the time? If a waitress messed up the order the majority of time, she would be fired. But Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb are legends in MLB. It’s all a matter of perspective as to what success looks like. Even if you do attain perfection in your own, someone else will view it as less than complete.

So, what do these three ingredients have in common? Well, these toxins are destroyers of hope and happiness, for one. Rarely in life will things ever be “just right.” They are also time wasters that rob us of energy and productivity. We fixate on issues that have little to no relevance on actually resolving issues.   

Perhaps the biggest revelation to me was that none of these are true emotions! Depending on what psychologist you ask, there are only a handful of actual human emotions and the unholy trinity is not among them. They are simply manufacture, man-made if you will, mental states of angst. They are artificial and should have no bearing on how we make decision and live our lives. Yet like hemlock or nightshade, they exist though they have reason to ever go into a recipe.   

And just for fun, try some of these authentic Cajun recipes; https://www.realcajunrecipes.com/   

 

Network Marketing; Flexibility and Choices

Network marketing is a distribution chain of independent sales representative. Sometimes referred to as consumer-direct marketing, direct sales or multi-level marketing (MLM). The term “affiliate marketing” is one originally referring to online cross-selling, yet it is also applied as a new buzz term for network marketing. For those who wish to become an entrepreneur but don't know where to begin, an arrangement like this can be very attractive. Often, there is talk of making a lot of money in a short amount of time. Now, what's that old adage about if it seems too good?  

Some of these companies are good and some are just filled with MLM junkies who are on to the next “opportunity” when the previous one has fizzled out. Now, so much of it is done online and the internet has really changed the model of how companies like Amway, Shaklee, Avon, Nu Skin and Herbalife have to market themselves. Case in point, a lot of Herbalife distributors are now establishing brick and mortar smoothie shops. That’s not bad, but most in the “network” were originally sold on not having an overhead. A storefront, utilities and employees are overhead.

It's PROBABLY not a cult, but you have to be aware of the lingo and rhetoric. You will hear things like, "down-line" which is the group of distributors you have recruited to your "organization" or "team".  Obviously, the one who recruits you is your "up-line". They love slang and initials. Point value (PV) is sometimes used instead of referring to money, and every distribution level will be named after a gemstone or mythical creature. It's a way of keeping score without realizing how little money one may be actually making. 

Should you attend a meeting, the facilitator up front will be quick to tell you how much money he made. But if you ask someone on the back row who has been attending for a year or more, they will be as tight as a clam. You will also hear about how easy the "plan" is. Well it is easy, once you have put in the blood, sweat and tears. But who knows for how long that will take?

Over my life, I have been a distributor for a handful of these. Personally, I believe the best ones are those which provide a service rather than a line of products. It's much more straight-forward. Professional services also tend to attract a better class of people. And that is KEY. You will be recruiting... a lot! No one ever became rich from simply being a distributor. You have to have a big down-line. 

Is network marketing a pyramid? There are stipulations within Federal law and possibly even State laws as to what constitutes a pyramid scheme. These are based on what the product or service is and organizational structure such as how many levels of commission there are. If a distributor joins the company, he or she CANNOT be forced to purchase products or use the service to join. This is a serious no-no as well as a sign it's a scam. Though, they may charge a nominal administrative fee of twenty or thirty bucks to set you up as a distributor.

A big factor as to legality, is whether there is even a product for sale or not. I remember in the late eighties, there was something called the "Airplane Game". People would pay to "play the game" but there was no product. As individuals paid a thousand bucks or more to join, they would move up from passenger the flight attendant to captain, based on how many other passengers they sold "tickets" to. It was akin to a Ponzi scheme. This was a clear pyramid and its originators actually went to jail. 

I may sound a bit cynical of this "referral marketing" because so many of them are unfortunately fly-by-night. But I am actually not opposed to the marketing model. Not at all! In the right setting and with the right service or product to offer and a good leadership team, one can start a very nice business with little investment. Of course, where there is little upfront money, there must be a lot of effort applied to grow the business. But, that shouldn't intimidate a budding entrepreneur! 

Here are a few things to avoid;

 - Any company that has broadened its reach from the original core product. They have lost their focus, mostly due to competition or market boredom. But more crap to sell is nothing more than just more crap! Look for something that is unique or exclusive.

 - Companies that can restructure your commission rate without your consent. They will do this.

 - Avoid organizations where the MAIN thing is recruitment. That’s not a business, it’s a networking association.You can find this out by visiting the "sales" meetings and timing how much the person at the front of the room talks about bringing people to next weeks meeting than the products themselves.

 - You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a vitamin or "supplements" company these days. They are cheap to make so they can have a huge markup. The quality of most of these are not any better than what anyone would buy off the shelf. Though, you will hear customer testimonials rave about the product simply because they never took vitamins before! I am guessing almost half of these companies are in the herb, oil or vitamins business. If supplements are the mainstay of the company, run!  

 - Also run away from companies that are “breakaways” from other marketing groups and are replicating their predecessors. This happens many times because someone with a large down-line has figured out how cheap those vitamins are and wants a bigger piece of the pie. The problem is, all those people who were fickle enough to leave the original company, will be fickle and leave the new one as well. 

 - If you hear "We're going international", it's because the product is saturated domestically.

 - If it's less than two years old, it's untested and the leadership has yet to prove itself. If it's over ten years, you have MISSED the "ground floor" opportunity.

But there are upsides as well. If you have never been exposed to sales or business in general, this is a wonderful environment to begin! This can be a place to encounter different marketing ideas and sales tactics. You will learn quick whether a prospective customer is interested in what you have to offer. Business is about controlling your resources and the most important one is time. You will learn to prioritize your efforts in a way that may not be required in a typical 9 to 5 job. 

In fact, it is something that allows for flexibility. More and more people have "side hustles" these day. This can be a perfect weekend gig until the business takes off. Though, at some point, you may want it to be large enough for you to leave your steady employment. At least, that is the dream of owning your own business. But some speak of just having some extra pocket change or making the car payment each month. Again, it's flexibility.

Even if you don't make your first million through network marketing, you will gain a lot of sales experience that may come in handy in other endeavors. Though, there is encouragement from your up-line and other distributors, you will learn to test your mettle by pushing yourself out of the comfort zone. THIS is what all entrepreneurs learn in order to be successful. 

Generally, the other people involved are very positive. A rookie business owner may be shown new, healthy ways of thinking through shared books like Think and Grow Rich, or How to Win Friends and Influence People. Sadly, not everyone was exposed to having dreams and aspirations or the art of being positive while growing up. For those raised in a negative or even abusive environment, this can be very cathartic and freeing. Friendships may be formed that will last long after the business. 

Millionaires have been made and operate ethically throughout the country. I've watched people do it with my own eyes. It is up to YOU to discover the right path (and group of people) to take you where you want to go. I have also seen dozens if not hundreds move on to do something greater, using the knowledge they gained from their networking venture. Like anything, you only get out of it what you put in.   

 

Building the Team

Much like a corporation is considered its own entity, teams will take on a life of their own. This is a good thing when you have the right bunch of people and can lead to better productivity. Micromanaging is counterproductive in the long run and not a growing trend for leadership in the 21^st century. The conundrum is how to let go of control and signal to the staff it’s alright to pick up the slack. In an organization where all plans and decisions are centralized, that transformation will not take place overnight. This is where the boss must be willing to let go of a certain amount of control and begin to encourage employees to take more initiative. But, the proper relationship between team and team leader needs to be in place.         

Workers need to have a certain amount of trust before they are willing to take on greater responsibilities. A common fear is someone might make a mistake (and they will) and be blamed for a bad decision. People need to know it is alright to occasionally go out on a limb because management will offer the safety net below. This begins with a sense of belonging.

When team members know they are legitimately valued as a part of the organization, they tend to take ownership. Ownership of the department, ownership of decisions, and themselves ownership of their own mistakes. Empower people and give them access to more resources and decisions. Allow them to speak freely about concerns they may have about a specific task. This will not only lead to better morale but less stress for management.  

Several articles and business text books have been written of the extreme measures the five-star hotel chain Ritz-Carlton will undergo to satisfy their guests. In fact, each employee has a budget of up to $2000, per incident, to ensure guests will come back again. If a valet or maid can fix an issue, they do so, even without managerial approval. This level of trust in turn, spurs greater loyalty from company employees. With the average patron paying a quarter-million dollars over a lifetime, it’s a wise investment.

May I Offer a Little Friendly Advice?

There is an old saying: "Free advice is only worth what you paid for it". Well, hold on! Not everything that is free is completely worthless. Consider the air we breathe. Yes, there are times when advice can be good and beneficial to its receiver. There is another adage: "The best things in life are... FREE". Perhaps more than the actual advice, we should better scrutinize the source. WHO is the one imparting the sage wisdom? Are they actually a sage? In other words, is it someone who actually has experience in that field?

When I was in business school, we had the occasional adjunct professor teach some of the upper class courses. An "adjunct" was someone who was not on regular staff, but still worked in the industry of which they were teaching. That being the case, they were usually night classes. I always had this feeling that the regular faculty didn't like adjuncts. Nonetheless, THEY are the ones from whom I learned the most. If I saw an instructors name in the course catalog I didn't recognize, I knew it was probably a business owner or CEO. It would be someone I could ask real-world questions and get a straight answer. An answer based on experience and not what was already written in the textbook. In other words, I valued their advice.   

In real estate, it is estimated over half of all agents nationally quit after the first year in the industry.   One major reason for the high turnover is rookies feel they are not adequately trained in the BUSINESS of real estate. Over a decade ago, I was a real estate trainer for one of the largest RE/Max franchises in the country. It was a job I enjoyed and held that position for about five years. The program I put in place for new agents was hugely successful as evidenced by the stint of their careers. The training was said to be so good that veteran agents of other companies would recommend their friends who wanted to get into real estate to come see me! The managing broker loved me.

Given the acclaim from within as well as externally, you would think all the newbies would always hang on to every word I said in our training meetings, right? Nope! A new agent would knock on my office door and ask "Do you have a minute"? I always made the time. Once they asked a question or told me of a challenge they were having, I would tell them the best course of action or even offer a couple of suggestions. USUALLY, it was based on an experience I actually had throughout the course of my own career. I was puzzled the times they would not heed my words and go it their own way, sometimes re-inventing the wheel.   

On one particular incident, one of my agents asked if she could simply use the old house photos from an online listing that had expired with another company. Though I had never heard of such, I told her it was best she take her own listing photos and "start fresh". Simple enough, right? It may have been laziness on her part, but it certainly was not by accident she posted the old agents pictures online. Three days later the broker of the expired listing's company called my broker and words were exchanged. I believe the topic was intellectual property rights. Once my young agent caught wind of the conversation, she called the old agent and further exacerbated the situation. Feelings were hurt and there was now bad blood between the two firms, which in real estate is NOT good. Not good at all. All she had to do was take my advice... and her own damned photos.

What I realized was there are people who seek validation rather than unbiased advice. They have an idea and go to the expert. IF the expert agrees... YAY! But if the veteran dissents, they simply do what it is they really wanted to do all along. I use to be extremely annoyed by this, as I considered my time was wasted. Now I see it is part of being human. To varying degrees we all do this. We get it in our head what we want to do, but ask opinions of others to cover ourselves. This is why it is vitally important to suspend making final decisions on important issues until enough workable information is in. Granted, it's hard to separate our emotions from a logical decision. That's the human part I was talking about. Consider all the down on their luck gamblers in Las Vegas; a prime example of not separating ideas from emotion.   

Real estate is a tough career, but so is public speaking. I'm not even talking about being on stage. That is only 10% of it, the tip of the iceberg. As a public speaker and corporate trainer, I have about ten people a year ask me how to get started as a motivational speaker. I always stop what I am doing and take time to talk to them and answer any question they have. Why? Because a lot of successful speakers along the way stopped to talk to ME. They gave me advice and I took it. I always let novice speakers know the one most IMPORTANT bit of advice I can spare for someone just getting in the business; join Toastmasters International. Toastmasters is a public speaking club where one can learn the skills. The cost is only about $100 annually and generally, members are warm and welcoming. So, how many would-be Tony Robbins took me up on my advice? None! Not a single person I ran into again or called a month later actually joined Toastmasters. My guess is their dream is more attractive than the actual work of bringing it into reality. 

My advice to you: the next time you seek someone's opinion and their idea is contrary to what you initially thought, do further fact finding. However, they may be able to spare you some heartaches and stress. Has this person actually done what it is you want to do? If not, then WHY are you asking them?  Find someone qualified with real-world experience. If something isn't as easy as you originally thought it was, you're probably on the right track.    

http://MomentumSeminars.com
MomentumSemianrs@gmail.com

Professionalism Begins Online

We have all had bad days, but is that a license to blab to the world about how much you hate your job because we're just not "feeling it" that day? SPOILER ALERT; the crux of this article is that no one cares! Nonetheless, there will be teachers, CPAs, Realtors and even doctors who will spill their guts on the internet through social media. The individual may feel a little better after a purge, but his or her audience is aghast.

A couple of weeks ago, I was with about a dozen veteran real estate agents who were mortified by some of the recent posts of fellow Realtors. Things that apart from just being in bad taste, could actually get the licensee in a lot of hot water. Of course, I immediately pulled out my smartphone to see who was doing what. Oh yes, you will get reactions, but will you get business? I will confess just when I think no one is reading my feed, I may drop a quick comment about an elected official or some new government policy and inadvertently start a firestorm controversy. Right there on MY page... YIKES! Well, if you are alright with that, than that's your business decision to make.

It really is a business decision. Most people with a professional license are independent contractors. That being said, they are small business owners. To which they are THEIR OWN boss and responsible for taking measures to avoid liability. If one agent tweets out their own resentment toward a fellow Realtor, the overall process or heaven forbid, their own client, repercussions are soon to follow because literally everyone on the planet can read it. As in the case of Realtors, the NAR Code of Ethics, Article 15 reads...

"REALTORS® shall not knowingly or recklessly make false or misleading statements about other real estate professionals, their businesses, or their business practices." 

The supporting standards go on to state the professional could be made to remove the post and, essentially, apologize. In the case of clients, they could sue over a careless post as it is a breach of agency. So why would someone want to air their dirty laundry online in the first place?

Rachel Albertson, with InfoRule Social Media, a Murfreesboro based marketing firm states; "You do not have to be friends with clients on social media. In fact, I do not recommend it."  Apparently, Disney thinks that's a good idea as well. Their employees are NOT permitted to mention they work for Disney. To violate this policy could be grounds for termination. So, be mindful of how you intermingle your private life with business.

Legal issues aside, remember what your mom told you about "conversation in mixed or polite company"? Do not discuss sex, politics or religion. Mom was right! Yet, here is where a lot of people miss it. To spare you the details here, MASHABLE has compiled a list of people who were let go over social media posts. I am not suggesting we have no opinions or never share our ideas, that's not my place. Though I will offer a friendly reminder if you post something political, you stand the chance of alienating half of your audience.

Professionalism begins online. In the 21st century, the majority of consumers start looking for an insurance agent, mortgage broker, Realtor or dentist through the internet. The search is actually a funnel. The buyer asks a question of a search engine, follows the answer to an industry publication, then a geographic company and then YOU! They already have a vague idea of what a professional is suppose to be before they ever click your name. When they ask a serious question, they anticipate a serious, coherent answer. If what they find instead is an agent posing with a sock monkey, they may not take that professional as one who is serious or would be responsible with their money. In short, the agent appears UNprofessional. Don't get me wrong, I love sock monkeys as much as the next guy, but if there is no marketing tie-in or a picture of a give away at a children's hospital, no one would take me serious. They certainly would not trust me with their biggest financial investment. Time to take down the cutesy avatar.
Blaine@realtracs.com